For the first two weeks of my life, I didn't have a name.
- Dede couldn't make up her mind. - Hi, kid.
She finally decided on Fred.
She said she'd never heard of a little kid named Fred before.
When I'm dancin' at Radio City once a week, you can have fries when you want.
But right now, you gotta eat this shit.
- Yes, you do. - No.
- No? - No.
If you think I'm gonna say "choo-choo" to get you to open up your mouth...
...you got another think comin'. - Koffer.
What is with you today, huh? No koffer. That's food for you to eat, OK?
- Koffer, Mommy. - No, Fred. That's a plate. No koffer.
Koffer!
Look. All right? No koffer, it's a plate.
Jesus.
Koffer.
Definitely not like Matt Montini.
He's the kid I admire most.
Matt Montini is always kickball team captain.
Matt Montini always has someone to eat lunch with.
- What about Fred? - Tate's a wuss.
Oof!
- What a dork! - Tate's a loser!
...that I never paid attention, that I was probably retarded...
...and that I had a very limited future as a citizen of the United States.
Then, a week later, she said I should probably skip second grade...
...maybe even skip elementary school altogether.
All I want is someone to eat lunch with.
Fred Tate?
Fred Tate!
All right. Let's all be good citizens...
...and be very, very quiet for Fred.
Oh, a visitor.
How lovely to see you, Miss Tate.
Fred and I are just getting ready to do a little duet.
The kid's got an appointment.
Then we'll just make it one quickie little verse, if that's all right with you.
- Yeah, whatever. - Fred.
that there's just too little of
- You were playing backwards again. - It's a stupid song, Dede.
Dede says I don't have a dad. She says I'm the lmmaculate Conception.
That's a pretty big responsibility for a little kid.
His allergies might be getting better, but I see no improvement in the stomach.
Has he been following the diet?
Fred just doesn't like baby food. He never liked it.
Does he like havin' an ulcer? Dede, if he doesn't follow the diet...
...he's not gonna get better. That's as simple as that.
Jeez, drink a little water, will you, Freddie?
- I spilt some. - So you did.
Why don't you wait for me at the table? We're almost through here.
I tell you, Dede...
...I've seen cops on the bomb squad with better stomachs than he's got.
- He does worry a lot. - About what?
About the world. About me.
The only thing he should be worrying about is a loose tooth.
He's got his whole adult life to be miserable.
Hey, you know what day next Saturday is?
You get your period. I spend the day alone in the park.
Very funny, lame-o. It's your birthday.
- Oh, my God. - Come on!
Fred!
Hey, turn that up. It's a good one.
Wait a minute. Get your shoes on. There you go.
Getting heavy. Care to cut a rug, handsome?
Huh? Remember how I showed you?
Whoo!
This one calls himself Joey X but his real name is Joseph Zimmerman.
12 years old. Experimental painter.
He's currently working on a $200,000 commission...
...for Hiroshi Electronics corporate headquarters in Tokyo.
- What does he call this painting? - "Irony".
Write him down, please.
Cherry Reynolds. 10 years old. Just published a volume of feminist poetry.
In the preface, she refers to the American housewife as, and I quote...
..."A pathetic slamhound with no notion of self-worth whatsoever."
- Whatever I pay you, it's not enough. - True.
Fred Tate. Seven years old. Second grader at Eisenhower Elementary School.
He writes poetry, paints in oils and water, plays the piano at competition level...
...all the while maintaining unlimited skills in math and physics.
I can't explain it, Jane.
It's not so much what he knows, but...
...what he understands.
"Death". There stands death,
A bluish distillate in a cup without a saucer.
Such a strange place to find a cup,
Standing on the back of a hand.
Oh, shooting star that fell into my eyes and through my body:
Not to forget you. To endure.
- Has this boy been tested? - Just the Stanford-Binet.
His numbers are here.
This is extraordinary.
- Where's the rest of his stuff? - Apparently...
...the mother refuses to let him take any other tests.
What about the father?
- I don't know what happened to him. - She probably doesn't either.
- Did you send them our material? - Yes, but I don't know if she'll respond.
Well, keep trying.
Stupid woman.
M-A-I T-A-I.
Mai tai. Did I say "margarita"?
I don't think so.
Scotch rocks, vodka tonic and a Bud.
The kid's mind is just somewhere else. Maybe he's bored or somethin'.
He hasn't said anything, but I can tell.
- Have you heard a word I said? - Yeah, Dede. I always hear you.
Today your kid's bored.
Yesterday he was having some funny nightmares.
He woke up inside of some painting I never even heard of.
Day before that, correct me if I'm wrong, he wrote you an opera for Mother's Day.
I mean, Jesus, Dede, if anyone's bored, it's me.
Am I that bad? Sorry.
Psst!
- What? - Come here.
- What? - I got a line on somethin'.
Yeah?
Guy comes in here yesterday. He owns this big hotel down in Orlando.
They do a show every night and he says he needs dancers.
Look at this place. It's beautiful.
Oh, come on, Gina. I ain't danced since I was 19. And even then, I wasn't so hot.
And there is the matter of my big, fat ass too.
Please, we're talkin' Orlando, honey. Not Vegas.
Down there, if you can tap your feet, you're Madonna.
I say we go down there for the summer and make a vacation out of it.
Hey, you two wanna blab, go work for the phone company.
Why don't you take a pill, ape-shape? We're tryin' to talk here.
Well, the place does look really nice.
Fred does like to swim.
Contrary to what you're saying, Ms Montoya...
...welfare is in fact bad for minorities.
As a social worker, every day you must see people who have simply given up.
And who's to blame them?
I mean, with people like yourself fighting for bigger and bigger hand-outs...
...there's no incentive...
- Dede? - Mm.
Wake up.
What? What's wrong, kid, huh?
You sick?
You feel OK to me.
This is for you.
Looks like somebody already opened it, huh?
It's from the Grierson School. They wanna meet us.
Yeah, yeah. I can read, Fred.
Do me a favour. I had a bad night. Go get your mother a Coke, OK?
Come on, I'd do it for you.
This jerk, he's got all his stuff separated into whites, off-whites...
...whites with stripes, whites with polka dots.
He's got ten dryers all to himself. Drivin' me crazy.
So you know what I do?
I go outside and I kick his car so that his siren goes off.
So the alarm's goin' off. He comes back in screamin' and he goes...
..."Hey! What happened to my briefs?"
So you know what I do? I start talkin' like I don't speak English.
- Hey! Did I hit anybody? - I'm trying to read.
What are you such a crabby appleton for, huh?
"The Mathematician". Any good?
"The MatheMagician". It's Jane Grierson's new book.
Oh.
Jane Grierson again. Great!
This boy, Damon Wells, can multiply two columns of 20-digit numbers...
...in five minutes.
Oh.
When Jane Grierson found him, he was living in a foster home.
Now he travels all over the place.
Really?
Dr Grierson played the violin for the Cleveland Philharmonic when she was 11.
Is the book about her or the kid?
Looks like a real bozo in that cape.
Quit it.
You got no sense of humour, you know that?
All right, you win. Come on, let's go. Put your shoes on. Come on!
Hi. Garth Emmerick. I'm Dr Grierson's assistant.
Dede Tate. The place is... It's nice.
You must be Fred. All set?
Dr Grierson likes to meet the children by themselves.
Feel free to wander around. The interview should take a while.
It's OK, Fred. I'll meet you right back down here when you get out.
All right? OK?
We wouldn't want him to come down with some ear infection and miss the test.
I'm sorry. I realise at some schools letters of recommendation carry influence...
...but here it's really test performance that determines admission.
Did Garth give you a copy of our pretest diet?
Well, you have to make sure he stays on that diet.
We'll see you in two weeks.
Hello, Fred.
I'm Jane Grierson. Do you know why you're here?
How do you feel about it?
I'm hot.
Dominum. Domino.
Now, Fred. What's wrong in this picture?
This?
- This? - I wake up in his paintings sometimes.
Van Gogh.
I wonder why he only painted one iris white.
Because he was lonely.
Let's look at May.
I like Sunflowers best.
I understand you're quite a pianist.
Check!
That was lovely.
Thank you very much. I really enjoyed that.
Hey, Fred. I gotta go to work. Come on.
Ms Tate. I'm Jane Grierson.
Please, come in. Sit down.
- Your son is very talented. - Yeah, I know.
Every year, I take five students to compete in "Odyssey of the Mind".
It's a kind of mental Olympics, if you will.
They're going to Disney World.
That's not the first thing I would have told you, but it's true.
We stop many places along the way, including my ranch in Virginia.
I like to pack as much learning experience into the three weeks as I can.
Yeah, well, I gotta go. Gettin' late.
Ms Tate. Ms Tate, please.
I didn't make myself clear.
I'm inviting your son to come with us.
If he enjoys himself, he'll be free to enrol in my school in the fall.
Wait a minute. Um... I don't even know you.
Why would I let you take my kid on some trip, let alone enrol him anywhere, huh?
I see.
Well, in this case, I'm sorry I wasted your time.
Goodbye, Fred.
You may keep this calendar since I won't be seeing you again.
That way, you can look at Sunflowers any time you want.
Come on, kid.
Jesus, Fred! What do you think you're doin'?
- I was just... - You were just gonna walk into the street!
You know better than that. You always look first.
Who can tell me how many of these numbers are divisible by two?
Anybody?
- Fred! - Hm?
I know that you can tell me how many of these numbers are divisible by two.
Um... All of 'em.
Hey, check it out.
I thought we could make our own invitations, huh?
- Invitations for what? - For your birthday party.
Why don't we just go to McDonald's like we did last year? That was fun.
Oh, yeah? Fun for whom? You threw up all over me, remember?
I had to burn my favourite shirt cos of you. Stinky!
- The mail's here. - Let's see if your chain letter paid off.
What have you got? The phone bill, gas bill, water bill.
- Throw this one away. - How come?
We left 'em a deposit. They can just take it out of that.
Fair enough.
So, what do you want for your birthday this year?
- Nothing. - Nothing?
Oops.
How about one of those Lego things? Hey, what's the matter with the toaster?
Nothing. I was fixing it.
Fixing means to repair something that is broken.
Not to break something that works just fine the way it is.
We'll get some hot dogs. Ice cream and cake. Pin the tail on the donkey, huh?
It's next Saturday at 12 o'clock at my apartment.
Give me that. Hey!
- Come on, guys!
Many gifted children go through some period of existential depression.
Pain of the mind can often be worse than pain of the body.
There is some ground for belief that genius is touched with madness.
No! Dede! Dede! Dede!
Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Ssh.
It's OK.
Did you wake up in another painting?
- Cortin. - Cortin, huh?
Hm.
I don't really know his work. Cortin?
It's a secretion that comes from some gland.
I forget which one.
It can turn a little kid into an old man, Dede.
Oh, yeah? You don't seem to be secreting anything now.
I tell you what, though.
Tomorrow, after your birthday...
...we'll go to the library and we'll look it up, OK?
What about work?
Don't worry about work.
All right? Try and get some sleep. You ain't been sleepin' enough lately.
- I can't. - You can't, huh?
- You wanna do shadows? - OK.
All right, we'll do shadows here.
All right.
Mm. How about that one right up there?
It's kinda pointy, see that one?
A man and a boy in a clipper ship.
Yeah. How about that one next to it with the little round circle on the side?
Let's try the other side now. See right there in the corner?
Kind of round things all on the side?
Got three little points. What's that?
I don't want a birthday party, Dede.
Course you do. Every little kid wants a birthday party.
- Hello. - Uh... Jane Grierson, please.
Speaking.
Hi. This is Dede Tate. I'm Fred's mom.
Yes.
Yeah. I was just, uh...
I was wonderin', you know that trip you were talking about?
Yes. What about it?
Well, it's just for a couple of weeks, right?
Ms Tate, I'm sorry but I've already selected my students.
Look, um... I don't know how much you know about Fred, but the kid is amazing.
He writes, he paints, he does everything.
You should see this painting he made for me. It's like, incredible, so...
Just a minute here. Why are you suddenly changing your mind? Hm?
Excuse me?
I don't mean to pry but, um...
...do you need time alone or have you made plans that don't include your son?
Look, lady. You wanna make me work for it, that's fine, OK?
But we both know that Fred's a hundred times smarter...
...than the plateheads you got at that school.
Now, you want him or not?
Does he have a suitcase?
Of course, every parent would like to think of their child as gifted.
Yldidnelps!
- Stop it. - Tipots!
Jane, he's talking backwards again.
I got some kinda hellacious booger hangin' out of my nose?
What are you staring at?
You're the mathemagician.
Want an autograph? Go scrounge a pen, I'll sign your forehead.
Hey, Damon. How about a game of magic digit?
Check out this magic digit, Garth.
Now, Damon. You're being hostile. We agreed that you would work on that.
Scusez-moi, Janey-poo. I've been working on a problem all day.
I haven't slept in a week cos of that frog nightmare.
And I'm hungry. I get pissed off when I'm hungry.
Here. Have a fig newton.
Well, it's official, Garth. You've misnavigated and now we're lost.
Sir, uh... perhaps you would take a few moments and show the children...
...how an internal combustion engine works.
It's said that the genius learns without study...
...and knows without learning.
That he is eloquent without preparation...
...exact without calculation and profound without reflection.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls...
...it is a great pleasure to welcome you all to the 13th annual "Odyssey of the Mind".
Now, you have been captured by Polyphemus...
...and you have 60 seconds to write or draw graffiti...
...pertaining to your situation. Go!
Oh, little boy. Don't touch that.
We're ready for opening remarks.
...it doesn't mean I can waltz on private property and make myself at home.
Now, our crybaby defence may like to turn this into an issue on homelessness...
...but we can't forget the law, and the law states...
...book three, paragraph 5350875, that what Goldilocks did was against the law.
Well.
It's certainly much quieter out here, isn't it?
Do you mind if I sit down?
Fred?
This is beautiful. Why don't we go show the others?
Nobody's gonna laugh at you.
I'm not gonna let them.
All right, let's begin with another round of questions.
How many minutes are there in 48 years?
25,228,800 minutes.
151,368,000 seconds.
That's very good. Ready for another one?
How many factors are there of 3,067?
Come on, guys!
There are no factors of 3,067! The number's prime.
Yeah. Another correct answer from Damon Wells.
Somebody, for God's sake, challenge me!
OK.
How about giving me a number that, when divided by the product of its digits...
...the quotient is three, and if you were to add 18 to this number...
...the digits would be inverted?
24.
- You said 24. - No, I didn't. I mean, I would have, but...
Open your mouth like that again, I'll put my foot in it.
- It was an accident! - I don't give a damn. Don't do it again.
Damon! Damon, what are you doing?
Fred and I were having a little chat.
I wouldn't call ripping his hair out "chatting".
I was rollin' till the little quark stepped in.
Damon, now contrary to what you might think...
...this is not Caesars Palace and you are not Wayne Newton.
And you're not Freud, so why don't you just give it a rest. Get a life, will ya?
Hey, don't cry, lepton. You can do the math tomorrow. I was bored anyway.
Shotgun!
Fred. Fred, are you all right?
Why is he so mean to you?
Fred, what's the cube root of 3,796,466?
156.
- Correct.
What number has the following peculiarity?
That if its cube were added to five times its square...
...and from the result 42 times the number and 40 is subtracted...
...the remainder is nothing.
- The telescope moves all by itself. - Yeah?
Just like the earth does.
- And you know what else? - What?
- On Friday, we're going to Jane's ranch. - It sounds like you're having lots of fun.
Miss you, though. Miss you big.
- Me too. - Go back to sleep.
- OK. Night, Dede. - Good night.
What are you looking at, lepton?
Jane!
All right, now who has a song?
When I was a girl, we used to sing Liebesliederwalzer on our car trips. Hm?
"Nein, es ist nicht. "
auszukommen mit den Leuten
My great-great-grandparents built this house after the Civil War.
Now, who can tell me what style of architecture this is?
Is this Shaker or neoclassical?
Edward Soloman joins "Live Wire" tomorrow to answer that...
...and to talk about his current best seller "Family of One: Today's Career Woman".
I just wanted to put this back.
Tell me, Fred. Why won't your mother let you take any more tests?
That's wrong of her. You must tell her that your intelligence is nothing to hide from.
- Are these your parents? - Mm-hm.
- This is your father? - Mm-hm.
Yes.
Yes, he was a terrific music-lover.
In fact, when I was your age I used to play the violin.
How come you don't play now?
Well, we decided that I would be happier pursuing my academic career.
How come you're not in any of these pictures?
Oh, I'm sure I'm in some of them.
No, you're not.
Well.
Both my parents were very busy people.
They were both physicians.
They both lectured a lot, travelled a lot.
Sometimes they just needed to be alone.
If they travelled a lot, they were alone.
Mm-hm.
Well... it's time for bed.
Good night, Fred.
Bleuh!
Damon?
- What are you doing? - I'm waxing my Buick.
- What the hell does it look like I'm doing? - What are you so mad at?
I noticed you and Jane are getting to be as close as a couple of fingers.
I bet back in the slum you got friends up the ying-yang. Am I right or am I right?
No. I don't have any friends at home.
Oh.
Well, then boohoo, Fred. I'm all busted up inside.
What about you?
Come on. Wake up and face north, twink.
I'm an asshole. Assholes don't have friends.
But then, I don't really care.
- You don't? - The reasonable man adapts to the world.
The unreasonable man expects the world to adapt to him.
Therefore all progress is made by unreasonable men.
- Jane say that? - It was George Bernard Shaw.
- Like to ride horses? - I dunno how.
Well, then, today's your lucky day.
When I was a kid, the guy'd grab me by the neck and shake me and say...
..."So, shithead, you think you're smarter than your old man?"
Well, were you?
I'm smarter than everybody...
...except Jane.
I dunno. Guys like me...
...and maybe you, we're different.
I mean, I hate to admit it, but...
...without Jane I'd be just another creep in a cape.
The only drag is listening to her give those same stupid lectures over and over.
- If it weren't for the game, I'd go crazy. - The game?
Yeah. Sometimes, instead of listening to her, I just count the words she says.
Actually, I count everything. Buildings. Dance steps.
Airspace. Trees.
Wow.
See, Fred. It's not the size of a guy's IQ that matters.
It's how he uses it.
I like you, Damon.
Come on. I'll race you back.
Damon?
Damon!
Damon, how many fingers?
- Orange. - You'll be fine.
Here's your jacket. Bye-bye, Fred. I hope I see you soon.
Fred.
Let me take these, OK?
Let's go. I'm gonna make your favourite dinner.
French toast and fried apples.
Hey, ta-da!
Money's been kinda tight lately, but...
...I'll think of somethin'. Don't worry about it, OK, kid?
You didn't paint the right number of keys on here, lepton.
I ran outta paint. What'd you just call me?
- Lepton. - What the hell's that?
- You wouldn't understand. - Whoa, wait a minute. Speak slowly then.
OK.
- A lepton is a Z particle. - So?
Do you know what protons and electrons are?
Yeah.
OK. What are they?
They're those, uh... those teeny, tiny things that atoms are made out of.
Well, leptons are even smaller.
- So have you looked for a new job yet?
- Hello. - Hello, is Derf there?
- Derf? You got the wrong number. - Wait! That's Bob Yee.
- Hi, Bob. What are you doin'? - Guess what?
- I got that job at TRW this morning. - Really? Wow.
So what are you doin', huh?
Uh, nothing. Just sitting around.
Do you think Damon'll be OK? For a second, I thought he was dead.
I thought he was dead, too, but Jane says it's just a concussion.
Jane knows CPR.
She did? I didn't know that?
She told me she was gonna teach me sometime.
Did you know Jane speaks five different languages?
"Clipper Ships" by Matt Montini.
"Me and my dad make models of clipper ships."
"I like clipper ships because they are fast."
"Clipper ships sail the ocean."
"Clipper ships never sail on rivers or lakes."
"Clipper ships have lots of sails and are made out of wood."
OK. Who's next?
I want to write a book about Fred...
...about his formative experiences.
His life story, if you will.
Well... Gonna be a short book.
Ms Tate, over the years, I've met many math and music prodigies...
...but never one with Fred's kind of intuition...
...his, uh...
...his kind of, um, sensitivity.
This summer, I've been asked to teach a class at Fieldhurst...
...and I'd like to use that time to really observe Fred.
He would take a class and, in return, I would waive his tuition at the Institute...
...for as long as he attends.
Wait. Wait a minute.
- You wanna take Fred to college? - Just for the summer.
Why can't you just wait and, like, observe him in the fall?
I wouldn't have time. I'd be busy running the Institute.
Well. As it happens, we already got plans.
Me and a friend got good jobs dancing at this hotel in Orlando for the summer.
The place is really nice. It's got a big pool and everything.
- A pool? - Yeah, so that's that.
Ms Tate, Fred is not a leper.
Intelligence is not a disease that you have to protect him from.
He's blessed, but he's certainly not alone.
There are many gifted children out there.
Yeah? How many of 'em are blessed with ulcers, huh?
How many of them go to bed worrying about the ozone layer, the rain forest...
...and why innocent people get murdered all the time?
Fred worries about everything. He can't help himself.
You wanna send him to college. Jesus.
You hear about kids ten years older than him...
...jumping outta windows on account of the pressure.
Let's not get hysterical. We're talking about one class for one summer.
I told you. We already made plans.
What I'm trying to tell you is that...
...your son is starving for stimulation and challenge, and for some order in his life.